Where's Waldo (french edition)

Sad day!

2009-06-26T11:16:00.002+02:00

Favourite song of all time, Beat It. I don't know how many times I've heard that song! When i was a child I had one movie that was mine, one movie that watched over and over again. That movie was M.J's Moonwalker - to me one of the best movies ever! Today he's gone, an icon has left us. I'm truly sad today...

Que pasa?

2009-06-04T05:49:00.002+02:00

What to do with this blog, what to do..? My energy to write is for the moment gone. I feel that I have stuff to say and I'm feeling inspired but the motivation is just not there right now.

Btw, summer break starts today!

DJing at its best

2009-05-07T15:17:00.000+02:00

Ladies Night

2009-04-15T19:22:00.001+02:00

I received an invite to Ladies Night at Push today.

I'd like to think it's because of my amazing skills with the opposite sex.

The number 8

2009-03-23T22:26:00.002+01:00

At one point in my life I actually forgot how to draw/write the number eight. For a whole week I'd completly forgot how to correctly write it. Now don't get me wrong, of course I knew what an eight looked like but the thing was that I forgot where on the eight to begin (where in the loops). So during that week my eights looked like the eights of a four year old.

Nitro Circus

2009-03-12T19:29:00.003+01:00

Yesterday we almost had spring like weather, today it snowed like crazy. Instead of just sitting at home moaping about the "bad" weather I took my dirt bike outside and made donuts in the snow...

I can't wait for spring and summer to get here so that I can go skateboarding but in the meantime I'm watching Nitro Circus and so should you...Travis Pastrana and co. are off the hoooooook!

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/nitro_circus/series.jhtml

2009-03-10T08:05:00.002+01:00

2009-03-02T22:30:00.001+01:00

Mot du jour

2009-03-01T23:56:00.001+01:00

Today's "word of the day" is...

Keylogger (Keystroke logging (often called keylogging) is a method of capturing and recording user keystrokes.)

Can be used for "evil" doing such as Facebook-rape your friends etc.

Wedding crasher?

2009-03-01T11:12:00.001+01:00

Simon Smith I tell 'em

2009-03-01T11:08:00.002+01:00

I had the headache of the centuary yesterday morning! Why hold back when you go out? All-in or stay at home, that's my motto.

Pickles

2009-02-26T07:56:00.004+01:00

You know the pickles they have in the McDonald's cheeseburgers..I really don't understand why. Almost everyone I know including myself throw the pickle away. I find them quite disgusting but...

...here's a girl who's disgust for pickles sort of put things into perspective.

Why are you sitting in the rain like an idiot?!

2009-02-26T03:48:00.000+01:00

Let's try and get some sleep

2009-02-26T03:26:00.001+01:00

AAAAATTTCHOOOO!

2009-02-26T03:16:00.002+01:00

I have a huge cold! Too sick too go out tonight, when I'm too sick to go out - I'm really sick! Hopefully I'll get better by tomorrow cause a friend of a friend who's graduating from beauty school or something like that has invited us to their graduation party, so there's going to be a LOT of girls there...wouldn't wanna miss that, now would we...

What I'm all about

2009-02-25T01:06:00.002+01:00

It seems like most of the topics I write about has something to do with me and alcohol...

Bene, this is a blog about me and my life. Alcohol is a part of that as is music, art, travel, humour etc. etc...

So, tag along as I explore all corners of the world and please, don't take me too serious. Have fun with it, I do...

Rochambeau

2009-02-24T23:40:00.003+01:00

Growing up I always knew there were something special with me. I sensed early on in life that I was different somehow, blessed with some sort of gift/power. Until a few days ago I had no idea what that was...now, I know...

I'm a Rock-paper-scissors savant. I'm not being funny, there's no beating me. I'm virtually impossible to beat at this game, ask around...

I always knew I was destined for greatness. Simon Smith the R.P.S-champ will echo through eternity, our grand-children we'll speak of my name. Ok, so maybe it won't get me a role in the next X-men movie or save any lives but did you know that there's a Rock Paper Scissors League in USA. Yes...and whoever wins, wins 50,000 USD. Where do I sign up?

A thing for older women

2009-02-18T15:18:00.003+01:00

I used to think that Rue McClanahan also known as Blanche from the sitcom The Golden Girls was kinda' hot.

Now? Not so much, no...

10 things you didn't know about me!

2009-02-18T03:09:00.003+01:00

1. Old people creep me out
2. I'm scared of slugs
3. Can't stand bananas
4. Hate the colour purple
5. Addicted to Coca-Cola
6. Cheated death 3 times
7. Actually like Hugh Grant movies
8. Don't have a drivers license
9. Extremely shy
10. I've shit my pants twice as an adult

Age is just a number

2009-02-18T02:48:00.002+01:00

Read a girl profile today on Facebook whom I thought was hot. The profile stated that she was 24 years of age. I then thought to myself, 'damn she's old!' but the I realized I'm 23...

In my head I'm still a young lad playing with his pogs.

Raising awareness

2009-02-17T04:36:00.003+01:00

(Stolen from my friend Per's blog pgny.blogspot.com)

Thank god I'm not fat!

2009-02-17T04:00:00.002+01:00

...Well, I mean thank god that I'm blessed with genes that enables me to eat whatever and as much as I want to.

Cause I eat a lot! You wouldn't guess by just looking at me...but as you all know, looks kan be deceiving. Past weekend, on saturday, after being out all night partying I went to Mickey D's as I usually do...I ordered a McChicken meal also as I usually do. Not even 20 minutes past before I found myself standing in line once again but for a Whopper Meal at Burger King. And then when I came home an hour later I made two toasts and then went straight to bed. All in an hour and a half! Two weeks ago I had burger and pizza for dinner 6 out of 7 days that week...not good, not good at all!

I never eat breakfast which supposibly is the most important meal of the day. I think I need to start eating healthier but on the flipside I don't eat candy or ice-cream...that has to count for something, right..? I've turned into a gourmand!

Hipster

2009-02-17T02:22:00.000+01:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T18:06:00.002+01:00

To all you Don Juans, Casanovas, pimps, playas, pervs and stalkers out there...I wish you all success in your quest for love today!

Ben Harper

2009-02-11T07:10:00.002+01:00

I'm really in to folk/acoustic music at the moment.

"Heath Ledger called me up and said, -Ben, I'm having a baby and you need to write a lullaby for my baby girl".

I obliged and out came Happily Ever After in Your Eyes.''

(Directed by Heath Ledger)

Ben Harper's MySpace

Joshua Radin

2009-02-11T06:34:00.001+01:00

Another awesome one...

Joshua Radin's MySpace

Name it

2009-02-11T03:36:00.004+01:00

I'm not the most serious guy which you might have guessed alreadey, in fact I think a have serious issues when it comes to, well...being serious. I'm known as the jokester amongst my friends and also as the good-looking-guy but primarely as the jokster/the funny guy. I'd much rather smile than to frown, laugh than to scream...

Kinda' spun off topic there...

Back on track. Names...we all have them. Long names, short names, weird names or as me, a cool name. Simon Smith, now that's a name that commands attention and respect! Not like Mapother which by the way is Tom Cruise's name. Apart from the name that was given to me by my mother, I have five other names. They are the names of my limbs. I have names for my feet, arms and...yes, that too.

They change from time to time and after purpose, these are their current names...

My arms/hands go by the names 1. Mayhem & 2. Order.
My legs, 3. Thunder & 4. Lightning while dancing they are known as Billie & Jean.
And my numero 5 goes by the name Earthquake it used to be Homicide but I changed it.

“It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself” -Salvador Dalí

Btw, it's almost five o'clock in the morning here and I'm super tired. I might just wake up tomorrow, read this and think what the F did I write...or not!

Bon Iver

2009-02-09T22:35:00.005+01:00

I you haven't heard of them/any of their songs yet...then go to their MySpace, Youtube, Spotify or whatever and have a listen!

Dead on

2009-02-09T18:33:00.002+01:00

You know how you sometimes read a book or hear a song and you immediately recognize yourself...' It's as if he/she is speaking directly to me...IT'S SPEAKS TO ME! That's exactly how I felt when I heard this song for the first time...

Recollections of a spotless mind

2009-02-08T17:23:00.002+01:00

About my birthday last week...

I really don't remember much, I know I drank a lot, A LOOOT..! I wanted to give you, my faithful audience a...as Matt put it a "debaucherous post" but as I said, I really don't remember much.

I will give you something though. This is a conversation that took place the day after on Facebook.

10:14pm X
Hey, outreagous b-day party last night!
Did you have fun?

10:15pmSimon
hahaha...best ever!

10:15pm X
I had a really fun time too, thanks!

10:15pmSimon
heard you were worried about me for a while there:)

10:16pm X
When mr.J says, Simon just bought a third bottle of Champagne and added the shots and the drinks me and X gave you...and I don't think that were the drinks you had that night! :D :D So yes, I was a bit worried...

10:16pmSimon
hahaha

10:16pm X
Can you blame me!

10:16pmSimon
Not reallyt, I was like an abyss last night

10:17pm X
haha...damn, I had fun!!!

Mark Ryden

2009-02-08T17:21:00.001+01:00

Check out this guy!

http://www.markryden.com/

2009-02-02T02:51:00.002+01:00

Seems like me going out and me getting drunk are frequent topics of discussion in my blog. You must wonder if I'm an alcoholic or something. I study hard but I play harder!

Mother: -Don't you ever grow tired of going out all the time?

Me: - (silence)

Mother: - (silence)

Me: - Can I take this bottle of gin with me?

Tomorrow I'll tell you the tale of a man, a mans epic journey from 22 to 23...

Winnie the Pooh

2009-01-28T02:17:00.007+01:00

Ever read the books or watched the cartoons/movies about Winnie the Pooh, of course you have. I watched it the other day, don't ask me why...I was hungover. I realized something while watching it, I realized that every character in Winnie the Pooh has some type of mental disorder. Seriously, think about. The kid, Christopher Robin spends most of his time in a fantasy/dream world, much like Peter Pan where all his toys and stuffed animals magically come alive. He reminds me of a comtosed patient.

Tigger obviously has some kinda of attention disorder, always bouncing all over the place. I'd say he's got ADHD.

"Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD, or often abbreviated ADHD) is usually considered to be a neurobehavioral developmental disorder.It is characterized by a persistent pattern of impulsiveness and inattention, with or without a component of hyperactivity."
Piglet has some kind of social disorder, he's extremely shy and obviously has difficulty functioning around people.

"Social anxiety disorder also known as social anxiety or social phobia is a diagnosis within psychiatry and other mental health professions referring to excessive social anxiety (anxiety in social situations) causing abnormally considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some areas of daily life.

Eeyore has one state of mood, depressed. And he also seem kinda' slow. Somebody needs to give some of whatever Tigger is havin'...

"A mood disorder is the term given for a group of diagnoses in the DSM IV TR classification system where a disturbance in the person's emotional mood is hypothesised to be the main underlying feature.The classification is known as mood (affective) disorders in ICD 10. Two groups of mood disorders are broadly recognized; the division is based on whether the person has ever had a manic or hypomanic episode. Thus, there are depressive disorders, of which the best known and most researched is Major depressive disorder commonly called Major depression, and Bipolar disorder..."
And then of course we have good ol' Pooh Bear or Winne the Pooh who clearly suffers from some type of brain disfunction. I'd say he's got autism.

"Autism is a brain development disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior...Other aspects, such as atypical eating, are also common but are not essential for diagnosis..."

...Also there's Rabbit (agoraphobia) and Owl, the-know-it-all. He's got meglanomaia, no one knows everything!

"Megalomania (from the Greek word μεγαλομανία) is a historical term for behavior characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, genius, or omnipotence — often generally termed as delusions of grandeur or grandiose delusions."

*All quotes are from Wikipedia

Crunk

2009-01-28T00:52:00.001+01:00

It's a mixture of the word crazy and drunk.

-Urban Dictionary

That's me on saturday, celebrating my 23rd birthday.

Here's another one

2009-01-21T11:45:00.002+01:00

Here's another amazing video!

How do they come up with this stuff?!

Btw, it's all real, they really painted the walls. To see how they did it go to their homepage. And another thing...this was my 200 post, thanks for sticking around!

Sign singing

2009-01-21T11:27:00.002+01:00

For those of you out there who know me (but do REALLY know me..?), you know I'm a huge Daft Punk fan! Check out this dude and his interpretation of Daft Punk's Harder, Better...

Amazing!

Dine n Ditch

2009-01-19T17:07:00.003+01:00

I ditched my first day of school today, did not have the energy at all, I would have fallen asleep right then and there.

Instead I met with a friend for lunch. I forgot to pay for it though, just left...I thought I payed when I ordered but apparantly not. So now I have two options. Either I go pay tomorrow or I never show my face there again. I'm probaly going with the latter...

And happy 30th birthday to my friend Matt!

Blast from the past

2009-01-13T18:42:00.002+01:00

Last week I attended a 90's party at this club called Lounge(s). I had no idea there was a theme that night, I didn't plan to go out either but somehow my friend convinced me to tag along. Apparantly there was a girl who he despretely wanted to see and he needed a wingman. That's what friends do for eachother...Anyhow I had a great time! I'm glad the 90's are over but it's nice to take a trip down memory lane sometimes...

This week they're having a 80's party and this week I'm coming prepared! I have a few ideas (see picture) but haven't decided yet...I'm leaning towards the RUN-DMC look.

So, from white Michael Jackson to black Michael Jackson...

Sweet dreams (are made of this)

2009-01-13T17:02:00.003+01:00

Lately I've been dreaming so vividly. I wonder what that's all about, why now? A couple of days ago I had a 'falling dream' and then just a few days ago a really vivid r-rated dream. And then today. I had a dream were I was being chased by an octopussy. I managed to escape the octopussy in the water and somehow got up on land and into my bed. But amazingly the octopussy somehow became amphibious and followed me and sneaked up to my bed were i was laying and wrapped itself around me. Luckily I woke up just in time...how did I wake up? From my own screams. Seriously...I woke myself up cause I was screaming like a little girl...

Trivia; I've heard that you can't die in your dreams, you'll always wake up just before you die. Tell that to the good folks of Elm Street...

Btw...Do you guys have a recurring nightmare. I have one. Since I was a little child I've from time to time been having this nightmare which terrifies the living crap outta me. I could try and explain what it's about but even I haven't fully understood it yet...

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean

How to properly slap someone

2009-01-12T21:56:00.005+01:00

Guy Ritchie is a fuc*in genius. I absolutely love his british-gangster-movies. Lock Stock... Snatch etc. are great movies I think everyone should watch atleast once. His latest movie is called RocknRolla and here's an outtake from the movie. One of my favorite scenes, a scene I've named...how to properly slap someone. Hilarious!

Synopsis; Lenny (The Boss) just had a painting stolen from him...

Gossip boy

2009-01-07T22:35:00.003+01:00

Girls gossip, the gossip a looot. From clothes, make-up to boys. And we guys..? Officially NO. But we gossip too, almost as much as women do. But the thing is that we don't call it gossip. We converse...

Imagine a man and a woman going on a date, this is how a discussion might sound when later retold to their respective friends.

The womans version; So, last night I went on this date with X. It was sooo romantic, he took me to this fine restaurant and then we ended up at his place and made sweet, sweet love.

Are you seeing him again? I hope so.

The mans version; So I went on this date last night with this girl with huge tits right. I took her to this place where my friend works, he always hooks me up so I don't have to pay. Sweeeet. And then I took her back to my place and I'm tellin' you I fuc*in' tore her a new one (wink, wink).

Are you seeing her again? Nah man...

Don't le me down

2009-01-06T15:57:00.000+01:00

Deadline

2009-01-05T23:43:00.000+01:00

I promise, tomorrow..!

Keeping my promise

2009-01-04T22:56:00.002+01:00

Just came back from a jog, one of my new years resolutions btw, to exercise more now that my back is better. I ran like crazy the first two kilometers, then I started to feel the taste of blood in my mouth and a severe case of side stitch. So I walked to the convenient store and bought myself a bag of crisps and a bottle of Coke. Tomorrow is another day though, right?

"Whoever said progress was a slow process wasn’t talkin about me!"

Not really sure how that applies to this matter but hey...half of the stuff I write about on this blog don't make sense.

I'll post the 'New Years Eve etc.' etc. post tomorrow, I'm too tired now...

2008 -> 2009

2009-01-04T14:14:00.004+01:00

There'll be an update tonight. I have so much to write about, new years etc. so I don't even know where to begin...

How's -09 been treatin' you so far?

My mother

2009-01-02T13:11:00.003+01:00

My mother (god bless her) is crazy, loco, nuts...

She's a pedant, everthing has to be super clean, in its place and the laundry...don't even get me started on the laundry.

Some things like jeans and sweaters you don't have to wash after each time you've worn it. But my mother will wash everything, it doesn't matter if its been worn everyday for a month or five seconds. If it touched your skin it has to go inside the washer. She'll even wash raincoats, I'm not kidding. But the thing that bothers me the most is her OCD with locking the front door. Whenever someone enters you'll shortly after hear a loud "LOCK THE DOOR!". During a day you'll hear "LOCK THE DOOR!" atleast twenty times a day...atleast. "Did you lock the door." "Is the door locked?" - nag, nag, nag...Just to spite her I always leave the door unlocked. We live in a safe, quiet suburb kinda' like what you'd see on TV. And I'm a beig believer of "what's the chance that would happen to me?", probability. Burglers don't just go around and feeling doors on random and we have a neighborhood watch group.

2009

2009-01-02T12:22:00.002+01:00

Hey,

New year, new beginning...

I've promised myself to start going to the gym more, to not spend so much money, to be more outgoing and finally to be the best I can, always...

Ägg (Egg)

2008-12-30T20:46:00.004+01:00

I've already told you about my disgust for bananas. There one other thing that I hate as much as bananas and that's egg. Not the egg per say but the little chalaza* that's connected to the yolk. I love eggs, if I make them myself. I could never eat an omelette or scrambled eggs that I didn't make myself. Boiled eggs are different. If I'm not absolutely sure it has been removed I won't eat it.

*4 & 13 on picture

I'm not the whisky type...

2008-12-30T18:40:00.003+01:00

There are three (four) different types of alcohol that I cannot drink anymore. The first one (chronological order) is whisky. It all started new years eve 2004/05 (I think...) when I sole handedly almost finished a bottle of whisky by myself. That night/morning I passed out on the living room floor of my friends apartment, threw up over 20 times until there was no more and instead started throwing up bile. Let me tell you...when you throw up that many times, the last few, they hurt! So, since that night I don't drink whisky (often)...

The second is tequila, any kind. This one took place in a club called Sticky Fingers. When I was younger we used to go to a club called Top Floor every so often. At this place they have/had (haven't been there since) a thing called "mega discount". If you a lot of something they give you a generous discount. So me and my friend bought ourselves ten tequila shots each and had a "tequila race", me versus him, who could finish their shots first. After six, seven or so I gave up and rushed off to the toilet to throw up and just minutes after my friend also ran through the door, took the urinal next to me and also started to throw up. Our tequila race had become a vomiting race. After the toilet I don't remember much. I do remember that I walked home in the middle of freezing december with just a t-shirt. You should have seen our faces the next day at school (previous night was a thursday), especially my friends face. He looked like a hung-over zombie or something.

The third and final ones are...cider and alcopops (they're kinda' the same thing). The dangerous thing with these is that they don't taste of alcohol, they taste just like soda. I'm a Coca-Cola (and soda) addict so if anything tastes like soda to me I'll drink the shit out of it. This is exactly what happened when my and my friends where at a club during the Swedish Open (Tennis). As I've been told the story we had ordered about 20 pops each (not kidding). We were having a blast, dancing and drinking...one pop after another. At one point I was on the balcony talking to some girl who was very in to me. Again, this is what I've been told afterwards. I was talking to this beautiful girl right...when I out of nowhere leaned over the edge and threw up. Apparently I kept on the conversation for a little while and then I just disappeared. I just remember waking up next morning in the CAR didn't even bother to go inside...surrounded by leafage. Someone had stuck a tree through the small gap in the windshield and it was quite big tree. My friends who had no idea where I were or what had happened to me had apparently when they spotted an ambulance on the street gone up and asked the paramedics "if there was a person named Simon Smith inside".

Just three of many, many alcohol disaster related storie. I'm sure I'll have another one for you on thursday.

I'm so excited!

2008-12-30T11:03:00.004+01:00

I just wish this day could end so that new years eve can begin. I'm so excited, fu*k I'm excited. I'm invited to a dinner at a friends house then after that we're taking the party train to another friends house and after that...who knows..? It will most certainly be a night to remember. I'm on my way to town now. I need to buy alcohol, beer, wine and of course champagne. 1 day and circa 13 hours left (here).

Pointer Sisters - I'm so excited

Orgia

2008-12-28T21:18:00.003+01:00

I had a really good time yesterday, it's always a good time amongst friends. First we went to a bar, had a few beers/drinks then on to the club, had a few beers/drinks. And lastly...

There's this place called Orgia. It's a really small place which closes five sometimes six or seven where the "cool" people go when all the other clubs close. It used to be kind of a members only type of club but now everyone goes there. Of course by the time you're there you're already drunk and stupid so anything can happen. I think I left Orgia around half past five this morning, right after the Wonderwall sing-along.

Cause and effect

2008-12-28T11:48:00.003+01:00

"Slightly" hung-over today, think I had a tiiiiiny bit too much to drink last night. It's what I like to call "cause and effect". For every action there's a consequence. Action: too much to drink - Consequence: hung-over

Gooood, this headache is killing me! I have to go take a shower or something, talk to you guys later...later.

I work hard, and I play hard!

2008-12-27T19:20:00.001+01:00

On my way out, I missed out the day before yesterday so I need to make up for that and then some.

My Christmas

2008-12-26T19:59:00.002+01:00

I'm awake now. I spent christmas with my mom and my brother, my other three brother and my sister were somewhere else. Christmas is not quite the same when there's no children around...We had a nice dinner, exchanged gifts and...that was pretty much it. I've probably gained six pounds in just three days, I ate christmas dinner christmas eve, christas leftovers yesterday and leftovers today. Me and my brother gave my mother a massage chair, I've probably used it more than she has, I've probably been using it too much. I have the back of Quasimodo.

Stuck in my head

2008-12-26T19:50:00.000+01:00

If I'm not singing it, I'm either whistling or hummin' it. It's of course Buddy Holly's Everyday. Buddy is btw one of the greatest artists ever! Sad story though, how he died and all...

Good morning

2008-12-26T09:49:00.003+01:00

Hello everyone...how was your christmas? I'll tell you all about mine later today, I'm going back to sleep. It's 09:51 december 26th here...

Cat Stevens Morning Has Broken

Joyeux Noël

2008-12-24T01:08:00.003+01:00

Merry Christmas to you all! In Sweden we celebrate christmas today, the 24th not the 25th so have a jolly ol' christmas everyone...

Personal shopper

2008-12-23T13:48:00.003+01:00

Just came back from christmas shopping with my mother and I'm telling you...never again! One store after another, I'm totally exhausted now. I see now why a lot of men hate to go shopping.

My weekend

2008-12-22T14:41:00.007+01:00

A picture(s)/movie is worth a thousand words.

Friday

Saturday

Hahaha...

2008-12-22T11:03:00.001+01:00

The wonders of technology

Great song

2008-12-19T14:55:00.003+01:00

The japanese don't only know how to make sushi, tech-stuff and pokémons...they also know how to make great songs.

Sukiyaki - Ue wo muite arukou - Kyu Sakamoto

Reunion

2008-12-19T07:04:00.003+01:00

Guess what...I worked today, my friends were shocked. I babysat for this family that I've known for a long time. They have three kids but I only babysat two of them today. One is 6 and the other is 10. The ten year old is the quiet, shy, mellow one whilst the 6 year old is the comlplete opposite. Let's just say he's got an abudance of energy...

After "work" I went to buy myself a new pair of pants for my New Year's Eve outfit, I'm wearing a catsuit. Kidding I'm wearing a tuxedo but with a little twist to it.

This weekend all hell is gonna brake loose. I know I say something like that every weekend and usually it does. This weekend though will probably be one of the craziest. Tomorrow sixteen of us are having dinner at a nice restaurant, it's kind of a welcome-back-reunion-dinner since many of our prodiclesons have returned from their studies over seas. After the dinner we're all going out, a huge french Dj is in town so we'll probably go see him. All n' all is going to be night to remember, atleast until next weekend. Oh yeah, then saturday my friend Johan and his girlfriend (they share birthdays) celebrates their 22nd birthday. Last year I rented a magician for Johan as a birthday gift which was a huge success, who doesn't like magic..? Hopefully I'll live to see sunday, knowing me I'll probably wish i didn't.

421

2008-12-17T22:11:00.003+01:00

421 visits to 'thefranceblog' today! I'm touched and slightly impressed. I just write about my pathetic excuse of a life and the occasional anecdote, I would never read my own blog. No...I would. I mean, I'm funny, incredibly good looking, smart. Why wouldn't I read my own blog and so should YOU! But seriously, thank you for reading and go on and tell your friends about the blog, let's reach 500. If there's anything you'd like me to write more about please let me know (comment), let's just say that I don't tell you guys everything...if you only knew.

Christmas shopping

2008-12-17T02:55:00.003+01:00

I'm doing most of my christmas shopping tomorrow. Another reason why I don't like christmas that much is the buying-gifts-aspect of it, not the spending but rather the physical acquiring of them part. Standing in line, a looot of people and the stress. You can be there when the stores open and it won't matter. There will be buch of people there already. The thing I hate most though is the standing in line/que part...You're standing there, ready to snap, bright lights - hot as hell, people wanting things wrapped thus holding up the line even longer etc. etc. Next year I'm doing all of my shopping online.

You snooze you lose

2008-12-17T02:38:00.003+01:00

Damn, just woke up. Went to sleep around noon and woke up now! 15 hours of sleep. Popped a few sleeping pills so I bet they helped. I really needed this. I think I've slept an average of 3-4 hours every night for 2 weeks now.

Btw, my record for longest sleep is 37 hours. We'd been skiing and partying non-stop for a week and with minimum amount of sleep and I didn't sleep on the way back in the car (8 hour ride). So when I arrived at home I just collapsed (not literary) and woke up a day n' a half later.

Zzzzz....

Women, you can't live with them, you can't live without them

2008-12-16T00:50:00.002+01:00

I'm tired of chasing women, I need something steady. Same story every week, you go out, get shitfaced and maybe a little lucky. I'm a whore that's what I am...buy me a drink and I'll sleep with you. Actually it's the other way around, no one buys me any drinks. A girl actually came up to us on saturday and quote; -"...buy me a drink" just like that. She was definetely hot and I understand that she might not have to pay for her own drinks, a lot of guys would gladly do that instead in hope of...you know. I like being single, you can do whatever you want. But it's nice to be in a relationship also, have somebody to share the cold and lonely nights with. A little corny I know but still...

I saw two hot red heads this weekend. Usually red heads doesn't do it for me but theese two were on fire! Get it, on fire...cause they're hair is red and looks as if it were on fire. Sorry, bad joke.

Speaking of doing whatever you want as a single. I'm not the overly jealous type that calls my girlfriend every two hours or whatever. I believe in space. A little jealousy is healthy for any relationship but too much and I'm gone. I need to be able to go out or whatever without having someone checking up on me or getting angry cause I went in the first place instead of staying home with her and watch a movie. I have a few friends that are so "pussy whipped" that they can't do anything without their girlfriends premition. It's terrible. I, myself am a free spirit. Like a whale that doesn't sing or like a flamingo which lose their pink color in captivity, I too lose the very essance of my being when not allowed to roam free like the wild stallion that I am.

"It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom. " - William Wallace (Braveheart)

Vodka

2008-12-12T12:32:00.003+01:00

The russians mighta' came up with it, but we swedes make the best vodka in the world! Who haven't heard of Absolut Vodka...yes, some french company might own it now but it's still swedish just like Volvo. I just came back from the liqour store with two bottles of Svensk Vodka | Lake Vättern for saturday, told you I was going to get ridiculously drunk then. I wonder if two is enough though...just kidding.

The weekend is upon us, once again

2008-12-12T03:44:00.003+01:00

I live for the weekends, monday through thursday I'm walking dead, a zombie. There is an idea of a Simon Smith; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there

Creative juices flowing

2008-12-12T01:14:00.004+01:00

I've been creative today, had to...I was beginning to get calluses on my hands from playing to much video games. So instead I've painting (I'll post a picture when it's done) and making music, DJ'ing and re-editing song. I must say...I've probably created/put together the ultimate party mixtape (cd). Ever!

Simon vs ?

2008-12-10T05:15:00.004+01:00

As usual I can't sleep, it's six something in the morning here and to keep myself occupied I'm watching Kenny vs Spenny. The things these guys will do for glory/victory... I've dared my friends sevral times to do stuff like that. Most recently I dared a friend of mine in a name-changing-competition. Pick a name for eachother, change it legally at the census bureau and the one who changes back first lose. My name for him, had he not chickened out would have been...Ike-Tina Turner and I imagine he would have given me a name like Maximus the Great or something like that, to reflect the person who I am. I always have to push, push it far and beyond...you could just go with - who can go the longest without shaving/taking a shower/shave off eyebrowe/speaking...or whatever, but not me.

FIFA 09 (live)

2008-12-10T03:53:00.002+01:00

This is not a joke...my thumb is actually completely numb from playing FIFA 09 on Xbox live, can't feel it!

Joyeux anniversaire

2008-12-10T01:12:00.001+01:00

Today is one of my dearest friends birthday, the magic 22. My 22nd year has so far been one of my best so hopefully it will be the same for him too. He's having a dinner on saturday and I'm telling you now...I'm going for fu*king alcohol poisoning...

I've been a nice boy

2008-12-09T02:21:00.003+01:00

My little brother wrote his wish list for Santa=mom today...

It says from top left -> right:

I wish for a football (soccer), a puppy, 200 SEK=30 USD, a remote controlled car, a Nokia charger.

Big text:

PLEASE

Underneath:

I've always wanted a puppy, everyone could pitch in and pay for it together. Not a female. If you get I want it to be a white german shepherd (think he means a Siberian husky).

Bottom:

PLEASE you'd all be so kind then!!!

I'm just wondering what happened to the remote controlled car I got for him last year..(?)

Movies

2008-12-09T00:21:00.002+01:00

I'm a huge movie fan, not crazy-film festival-geek-inda' movie fan but normal movies. My favorite genres are horror and comedy. The thing about these genres is for every great film there are 100 bad ones espeacially in these two genres. When it comes to comedy I hate the obvious or overexagurated ones. You know which I referring to...the American Pies and the Scary movie type of film. There's nothing worse! I like the subtle and dark ones like Weatherman. Coen-brothers make good ones and Wes Anderson. The Coens most recent one, Burn After Reading was hilarious, go see it!

Walking ghost

2008-12-07T09:19:00.003+01:00

...Got back home from my fiesta trip to the city. I do that, go into town to party on fridays and get back on (usually) sundays. It's such a hazzle to go into town and then go back ande then back there and then back again.

I need to go to sleep but for some reason I can't. It's been like this since I was like ten. Usually I take sleeping pills, lots of them and now that I don't have any I can't go to sleep. But it's not just that cause I haven't taken them for a while maybe it's me not being reaclimatized yet.

Crime and Punishment

2008-12-04T23:45:00.003+01:00

I told you a lost my VISA card last saturday right? Well, today I went down to the police station to file the report. I know a missing VISA card is not a murder or a kidnapping but I was like... -You need to bring down the guys from CSI and start looking at some crime photage, swab for epithelials, start testing people for DNA or whatever it is you guys do...

"If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be punishment-as well as the prison." - Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment,

A Cross The Universe

2008-12-04T06:38:00.002+01:00

Fu*k me...I just saw Justice's tour documentary and that shit was off the hook. I'm a huge Justice fan and I'm telling...ah, just watch the damn thing!

Snow

2008-12-04T02:14:00.003+01:00

It's snowing outside. I hate snow in the city, it just turns into slush and you get salt stains on your shoes. I love snow on mountains and where there is minimum of traffic though, that I do...

I used to eat snow, ah, who am I kidding...I still do. Not if it's yellow though I learned that lesson a long time ago.

...And another thing. I make a meeeeean snow angel.

Voices

2008-12-04T00:27:00.002+01:00

I spoke to someone at tech support regarding my broadband earlier today. She had such an amazing voice, like a nymph. I almost asked for her telephone number...

I used to have a crush on Maja from The Sounds and Mariah Carey because of their voices. Seriously, imagine if Karolina Kurkova had the voice of 'the crazy cat lady' from The Simpsons then she wouldn't be so hot anymore now would she. I'm telling you guys, the voice is a big deal.

My wishlist

2008-12-03T23:19:00.003+01:00

I'm not the biggest fan of christmas, I don't hate it I'm not the grinch I'm just indifferent to it. When I was young christmas was the biggest thing ever and I'd make up a wishlist and send it to Santa. I would wish for things like a dog, a new bike and a remote controlled car...and at the end I'd add...oh yeah, and world peace.

Nowadays I don't make any wishlist I'd rather give than to receive...truthfully. It's gives me more pleasure to be able to give someone something and see the smiles on their face. I know how it sound but it's the truth. Maybe Simon finally grew up...

But if I could wish for something except world peace I'd wish for the book Wisdom by Andrew Zuckerman.

Just another weekend

2008-12-02T02:04:00.001+01:00

So, let me tell you about my weekend...

It started off with a nice taco-dinner at my dear friend Ida's place. Wherever there is tacos, fajitas, tortillas, nachos, tequila, (that's all the mexican food/drinks I know) I'm there. Scatch the tequila, one sipp of that stuff and I'm gone. Usually I always go with the hottest sauce there is with my tacos but if you plan on continuing the rest of your evening in the toilet (atleast for me) you might wanna rethink that and go with the guacamole or something else instead. After the dinner we went to Lounge(s) and had ourselves a coulple of drinks etc. and then on to Diamond Dogs. Let me just tell you about Diamond Dogs before I go on. Diamond is a club for those who like rock music like bikers, rockers and heavy metal kinda' guys. I'm not the biggest fan of rock but the place always has a great atmosphere and the bartenders there are very nice, Diamond is a nice pit-stop-along-the-way kinda' place if you know what I mean...

My friend who works at Diamond had the night off and so after a while at D.D we decided to go to Orgia and get totally shitfaced, as if we weren't already. But before we managed to leave D.D my friend met some other friends who we convinced to join us to Orgia. These two guys were brothers and looked quite rough but still friendly. Then at Orgia the mayhem began. The brothers kept ordering one champagne bottle after another, shots and drinks for everyone. Again, as if we weren't wasted already. After a good hour at Orgia I noticed how one of the brothers was wearing a Hell's Angels leather vest underneath his hoodie ant thought to myself...woooow, I'm glad I didn't turn down any of the drinks they were offering me...and also thought how nice they were. I'd been getting f-up with the nicest bikers I had ever met. lol...

Now, on to saturday.

They day began quite early, much too early being as hungover as I were but I'd already promised I'd go Go-karting with a friend who celebrated his birthday that day. Now imagine having to drive a Go-kart, sharp turns, curbes and a lot of vibrations while super hungover. It went alright though, I managed to complete the race without puking in my helmet or crashing. Then on our way home we spontaneously decided to go bowling and to my joy, head, stomach etc. (still hungover) not just regular bowling but disco bowling with bright colorful lights and loud music. I think i had 10 (big) glasses of water just during the bowling and I didn't win despite telling everyone how I would fuck em' all up.

After bowling, some sleep and food it was time to go at it again. This time I promised myself to go easy on the alcohol. So how did that go? Let me just tell you that I woke up 20.00 with STUPID written on my face and 200 dollars lighter. The 200 dollars had been swiped from my credit card by the non licensed taxi driver that drove me home. Probably he'd picked my pocket. Oh yeah...I accidently puked a little on Jesper's matresss, sorry about that J.

Now here I am, tuesday night, still recovering. I'm not what I used to be.

How was your weekend?

When we were young

2008-11-30T23:17:00.002+01:00

Sorry for my absence. How was your weekend? Mine was crraaaazzzyy!!! I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, I'm too f-up now.

Chateauneuf-du-Pape

2008-11-28T06:32:00.003+01:00

Went to the liqour store to buy a bottle of wine earlier today. To sound educated and sophisticated I asked for a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape wine. I drank a lot of Chateauneuf while in France and got the taste for it. Here in Sweden there's only one place to buy alcohol/spirits. The state owned/controlled Systembolaget (name of the stores/company, literal english translation: the System Company) is the only allowed retailer of alcohol along with gambling (Svenska Spel) and medicine/pharmaceuticals (Apoteket) meaning that the goverment has monopoly on these things. So, where was I...

Oh yeah, so I asked for a bottle of Chateauneuf and the nice clerk showed me to the shelf where the wine were. They only had two brands left and the cheapest one cost circa 400 USD. My pulse raised a little when she told me that, but since it's a monopoly they can pretty much set whatever prices they like. Let's just say that that same bottle was significantly cheaper in France. Did I buy it? Yes, I did, I had to. I got that feeling I get when I'm the only one in a small clothing store and the one working there is looking at you like a hungry, desperate dog. And I just had to pretend to be a wine conniseur, I mean it would have been embarrassing to not buy the bottle of wine I specificly asked her to show me, atlest to me...

P.S Most swedes are genarally positive to Systembolaget D.S

Sleepless

2008-11-27T02:52:00.002+01:00

It's almost three o'clock in the morning here and usual I'm having a hard time falling asleep, I'm a lot like Margaret Thatcher that way. So instead of sleeping I'm playing Guitar Hero III (Legends of Rock).

AB = BA = I

2008-11-26T00:07:00.002+01:00

One of my all time favorite movies is Matrix (the first one). At one point I even knew all the lines to the movie, and when I say all I mean every single line.

"...you think that's air you're breathing?" - Morpheus

College dropout

2008-11-25T19:15:00.002+01:00

Did I tell you that Bill Gates, yes...theeee Bill Gates was at the club, the very same club I was at last friday.

SNL

2008-11-25T03:27:00.002+01:00

Just saw a rerun of Saturday Night Live hosted by John C. Reilly. Will Ferrell as James Lipton is hilarious!

24

2008-11-24T02:23:00.003+01:00

I just saw that 24 aired today (downloadable tomorrow morning), yeaaaa!

Tomorrow I'll tell you the story of how me and my friends, all dressed in white cheated a (non licensed) taxi driver.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today

2008-11-23T20:54:00.003+01:00

I had the weirdest dreams this morning/afternoon (went to sleep at 6.00 a.m). Firstly it was like I was watching myself whilst sleeping/dreaming, half awake almost .and also the dreams were so vivid. Some people forget their dreams as they wake up I tend to remember mine. I had three dreams (that I remember). The first was about me testifying against a biker gang, which also attempted to kill me during the dream. you know what...I've heard that you can't die in your dreams, you always wake up just before your death, wonder if that's true. The second dream involved a friend and her dog which I unfortunetly killed by sitting on it and lastly...third dream. Let's just say that that dream is not appropriate if you know what I mean;)

Fuckin' freezing

2008-11-22T22:32:00.003+01:00

I was out last night and it was fuckin' freezing! I'm not kidding it was soooo cold even a polo bear would have caught a cold, even had a bit of snowfall. Speaking of animals, guess what I saw...I saw a wild mouse. I know, who cares. I do. It was my first mouse sighting. I've seen a couple of rats but never a wild mouse. I did see a girl dressed as Minnie Mouse though during Halloween and she was kind of a wild one...

I put the 'power' in powernap

2008-11-21T02:01:00.002+01:00

I was just supposed to take a quick powernap.

Just woke up, six hours later...

Ambrosia

2008-11-20T08:26:00.002+01:00

Just had a coke (Coca-Cola), haven't had a coke for...three, four days now. Some peolpe smoke, some drink. Me...I have the coke-monkey on my back.

You sound funny

2008-11-20T03:18:00.002+01:00

Did you know there's a rare condition called foreign accent syndrome, neither did I.

Check out a video of a woman suffering from it here.

What if?

2008-11-18T16:20:00.006+01:00

I was looking through my suitcase yesterday, the very same suitcase I had in France and you'd never believe what I found. I found a small bag of unknown substance. I have no idea what it is that's in the bag or where it came from. What if customs had stopped me and asked me to explain the bag. We all know what happens to drug mules in ex. Singapore and Thailand, they go to jail, forever...and with my pretty face...

(I'm sure there's a rational explenation to all of this)

Bedtime stories

2008-11-17T23:46:00.002+01:00

I haven't slept in my own bed for quite some time, since late february. My back, to say the least has been missing my bed like crazy, there's nothing like your own bed. My bed, with my physical memory imprinted in it, my dents and dimples. Last night though I slept poorly. I always have trouble sleeping but I thought since it had been so long it would be different. Maybe I need a new bed, maybe we've outgrown eacother???

The prowler

2008-11-16T14:59:00.001+01:00

Just woke up, came home around five o'clock this morning. I don't remeber any details...I do remember McDonald's though. God I love McDonald's after a night on the town.

...when 2 become 1

2008-11-15T20:29:00.005+01:00

My plans this evening...

1. Coctails at Britta's place.
2. Tour all clubs in town.
3. Hopefully an after-party at my place with a dozen girls.

The chaos theory

2008-11-14T19:55:00.003+01:00

Damn, forgot my computer at my mom's.

Went out yesterday, only for a few drinks...some of us had to work/go to school. One drink magically turned into two, three, four, five, then lost count. Not a lot of people there yesterday but I had fun anyway. I remember after high-school when I went out 3-4 times a week, one week I managed to hit the trifecta. I went out every day of the week, monday through sunday. It became like an addiction, the last time during this period I actually recycled cans (I know, pathetic) just so I could finance my nighttime activities.

My friend did something hilarious yesterday. You know how you in middle would pass a note the one you liked where she'd check YES or NO if she wanted to be your girlfriend or not. He actually did that, wrote a note to the coat check girl (lol). She must have checked YES cause she texted him and apparently they are going on a date next week. She thought it was an original and funny way of asking her on a date. I must say...I envy my friends courage and total lack of inhibitions. I wish I could be more like that.

Btw, ate the biggest taco-wrap on my way home yesterday. It must have weighed two pounds! Tonight is a night of recuperation. See you tomorrow.

Homecoming

2008-11-13T16:00:00.003+01:00

I'm home, home at my mother's house. Time to enjoy some of my mother's home cooked food.

Jackass

2008-11-12T22:13:00.002+01:00

Most of my friends hate needles, many do. I on the other hand kinda' like the prick/sting of a needle. I might be what you call a pain junkie (I'm not a masochist). No, I'm probably a thrillseeker more than anything, like the Jackasses.

*I've never done any drugs!